Today

Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on so many things, like I want to go on an adventure. I keep forgetting that I just packed my bags and moved across that country 3 months ago, but I‘m antsy already. I have this need to explore the world. I’m worried that I won’t get the chance to. It’s like I can never be happy with what I have, like I think that there is always something better and that my life is lacking sustenance. I keep getting closer to the border, but not for very long. I don’t know if that means something. I was on the bus a lot today and I was so tired by the end of the day. I think I learned something today about being an adult. I’ve been trying to tell myself to suck it up for awhile now and I think that today I did just that. I decided to be joyful, and it was hard, but it was so much better than being crabby today. I did a presentation on budgeting and identity theft in Spanish today by myself because I had to fill in for one of the other VISTAs and I think that I did a great job.

 On the bus on the way home I was looking around and I did feel like I fit in with everyone else who has to ride the bus and lives in low-income housing (where I gave the presentation). It’s too bad that I don’t feel the same way at work. At work I feel like I’m the only one who struggles, everyone else seems to be so worried with impressing their boss. It’s like a game; who can make up the most BS? Me, I can!!! Oh, Pick me!! I’m living between two different worlds, but maybe that’s the point, maybe that’s suppose to help me understand both sides of the story. I don’t know. Maybe this is the beginning of wisdom, understanding, and then action. How do I act on this? Where do I start? How do we break down these walls?