Monday, December 12, 2011

Stress Relief...Wanted

I have come to discover that a hot shower is the only thing I really need to put me in a better mood; the problem with this discovery is that I can't always get a hot shower. In the last 10 months, I have had many stressful days and few hot showers. I'm not sure if these things are related.

Only one of the places I have lived in as had hot water every time that I wanted to use it. I lived there one month...haha. In my current apartment, I not only share a water supply with my two roommates, but also with my neighbor, which consists of the whole upper floor of my building.

Every morning I test the water to see if its bearable to shower. Sometimes my roommates gets up early and beat me to it (There is only enough hot water for one of us to take a hot shower in the morning). Sometimes I jump in anyway and just suck itup, other days I take a shower when I get home at night. Our new neighbor is in the military, so I'm pretty sure that he is the first one awake in the morning, which is why the water hasn't been hot in awhile. My landlord keeps saying that there needs to be a bigger water heater, as though she is not the one responsible for that appliance...lol.

A hot shower is quickly becoming my most longed for luxury, especially with the colder weather.

Monday, November 21, 2011

It is November.

SO I haven’t written in a very long time. Life has changing drastically here in El Paso. I’ve been accepted to Bike and Build for the summer and I possibly have a new love interest. I feel like I am making great head way at work, and my first grant that I have ever written was approved.
All in all though, I feel really uncertain and overwhelmed (Yeah, not what you were expecting, haha). I feel like I am getting answers from everyone to take it one day at a time, which is what I should be doing, but I am still stressed about everything. I am anxious about fundraising for Bike and Build, as everyone usually is; the last couple of days though I have woke up telling myself that I am going to bike across the country. I’m hoping that this will keep motivating me. I am also uncertain about the new guy in my life; he is a great guy, teaches English at a local high school, interesting, someone that I can learn a lot from, etc. The thing is that my AmeriCorps term ends in three months and Bike and Build starts in six, after that my future is still uncertain and I feel like our future goals may be very different. I still want to see the world, and I want to do it now. I want to be out of the country by the end of next year, but I feel like my dreams may have to wait with the weight of my students loans on my back.
 I for some stupid reason am waiting for everything to go up in flames and to fail. Why do I expect myself to fail? The more I ask myself what I am failing at, the more I feel like I am missing out on opportunities. I’m not sure how to relax for one second. Every time a bunch of really good things are happening in my life, I start to feel the anxiety rising. I should just be happy, but I feel like I can’t have both my traveling dreams/career goals working with refugees and a relationship. I know that sacrifices are a daily trial, but it’s really starting to piss me off.
That being said, yes, I am probably staying in El Paso until the end of May or June when I leave for Bike and Build. I still have time to apply for different things and see where this relationship goes, but I, like most of us, want to know if it’s going to work out now. I don’t want to be patient; patience sucks.
I feel like posts after so long in between should be nice and sweet, but this is not. Whatever. Please comment; remind me that I’m being selfish and stubborn and that I need to get a grip because my conscience is having a hard time convincing my hand to slap myself in the face.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Monday.

I know that I just posted something, but that was from like a week ago and I just didn't have the internet to post it.

Some good things are happening lately. I signed a lease for a new apartment, where hopefully I will stay put for the next six months until I leave El Paso. I am excited about, pictures will come soon. I am going to move in later this week and am getting pretty excited to decorate and put my pictures up as I miss seeing my friends faces in the morning. I also have this palm tree collage idea in my head that I have been thinking about doing for awhile and well...I took pictures of this cool palm tree in Chiquimula and took pictures in pieces up close and farther away so that I could kind of reconstruct it as a wall art. I'm excited to work on a project with some artsy stuff, it's been awhile. I'm currently living/crashing with two other VISTAs that are working with Affordable Housing and then I'm moving in with two new VISTAs that will be working with the United Way, whom I have not yet met. This just seems to be kinda how I roll, lol.

Two months later...

Tomorrow will be the day six months ago when I boarded a plane to start my year with AmeriCorps. It is not what I expected. Lately my motivation is lacking and my ability to focus on one thing without thinking of three to four other things is devastating to my learning, to put it plainly. I thought that it would be this great stepping stone, but I feel anxious a lot lately. My job is the only thing that I have going on now and I’m stressed about looking for another apartment. This will be the fifth move in six months. However optimistic my general mood, I feel a bit displaced. I keep telling myself to just suck it up, focus on reading and research, and take it one day at a time. My thoughts tend to drag me down with pessimism. I need to find something productive to do in my free time. A few months ago I looked into volunteering with Las Americas Immigration Center here in El Paso. They accepted me to volunteer, but it didn’t work with my work schedule. Now that I’m temporarily living close to the center, I think that I am going to see about taking one morning every week to volunteer with them and just make up the work time. I wanted to be involved with a team of sorts here. I guess I never really looked. I thought that I would just get talking to someone and find out about clubs/teams/organizations going on around town. I didn’t really do any research into the idea.
On another note, I have realized that I do not apply for enough opportunities for where life can take me. When I applied for this job I was worried that I wouldn’t get it, that they might choose someone else. It’s like I lack confidence in myself to be wanted by an employer. I now see that I just haven’t applied to a great majority of things to see what my options could be for the future. I mean even when I applied for college, I only applied to Central. Sometimes I think that I don’t try very hard for things because if I work hard and fail, then it will prove that I’m not good enough or smart enough or something. So, might as well just not go for it, lol. I know that’s not true, but I’m keeping myself caught in that repetitive mindset that disables me from focusing. It’s like I do not live in the present, but an ideology of the past and future. I know that this is not good, and I’m trying to keep a presentness about me, but it is such a difficult thing to do. In the book I was reading, The Future of Peace, one of the peacekeepers, I think Ghosananda talked about spending 9 years in the forest meditating. Yeah, I’m not planning on doing that, but I keep thinking that if a human being can spend such a great amount of time doing that, then why can’t I focus for even part of the day?
On another, another note, I just started doing this DISC personality profile that my boss gave me to do if I wanted. It’s really interesting, it kind of shows you your behavioral styles and those of others to better understand how people work and how to work with them.  It is based on the research by William Marston, oddly enough the inventor of the polygraph and creator of wonder woman comics, where an individual can perceive his/her environment as favorable or unfavorable and his/her perception of self as being more or less powerful than the environment.  This is based on 4 personality dimensions: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness.  Although everyone has traits of all the categories, usually one is higher than the others. My highest was influence.  It says that my tendencies include: contacting people, making a favorable impression, being articulate, creating a motivating environment, generating enthusiasm, entertaining people, viewing people and situations with optimism, and participating in a group. I feel like this is accurate. There is more to the description and an action plan with what I need to be effective, but this is already long.
I don’t know, here are my current thoughts laid down for now. This post I actually typed up on Word, the last few times I used my mail. More should be on its way, hopefully. J

Saturday, July 23, 2011

It's Been Awhile...

So yeah, It's now July...well the end of July. I've been in El Paso for 5 months. I'm kind of in this daily routine of getting up early, walking to work, work, gym, home, bed and it's kind of getting old. I'm trying to just focus on the task at hand: providing the credit union with a sustainable financial literacy program. It takes a lot of time and communication to make this happen, so sometimes things seem to be going by very slowly.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my plans for next year. I'm really focusing on teaching english abroad for a year or so. I feel the need to travel again bearing down on me. I've looked into a lot of different locations, but I still have some time to decide. I'm going to take the TEFL certification when I am done with this year. I'm really siding with doing the 4 week in-class certification abroad, instead of online or from a different US location. I think going abroad with it would really teach me a lot about...well, teaching, since that's not my educational background. Don't get me wrong, I've done a lot of presentations and taught a lot of students this year about budgeting and credit management basics, but I need help on lesson planning and everything else that teachers learn in the classroom first-hand.

On another note, I'm visiting home in two weeks and am very excited! Virginia is getting married, and I have now been chosen as a bridesmaid, which I have never done before. I am flying in on the 6th to Detroit; Summer is flying back from San Francisco on the same day, and Kristen is picking us both up. I just might need a vacation from my vacation after this...haha. 

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Migrant Trail

I feel so unprepared. I have been so caught up in work and everything else that I forgot to mentally prepare myself for the journey ahead.  Feel like I may come back with a new prospective or something. I don’t know. I am kind of excited though. Up close and personal with the border fence and the graffiti, the desert, the desolation. I want to see it, all of it. I want to feel it, to touch the sand and dig my fingers into the dry hot crystals. To remind myself that this isn’t a dream, it’s reality.
So much of the time here I walk down the street with the brick and adobe houses starring at me that I think it’s in a film, not real. Not until it’s dusk and I can feel the heat of the concrete and stone mixed fences around the houses still hot from a foot away. I have to stop walking and just touch them to remember that El Paso isn’t a dream, that I really did move here.
So, here I go. Packed. Blue bag and knapsack. Ready to go on this adventure, remembering the words from the vision statement in the Migrant Trail handbook:
The precarious reality of our borderlands calls us to walk.  We are a spiritually diverse, multi-cultural group who walk together on a journey of peace to remember people, friends and family who have died, others who have crossed, and people who continue to come.  We bear witness to the tragedy of death and of the inhumanity in our midst.  Lastly, we walk as a community, in defiance of the borders that attempt to divide us, committed to working together for the human dignity of all peoples.
La realidad precaria de nuestra frontera es un llamado a caminar. Somos un grupo diverso en cultura y espíritu quienes caminamos juntos en una jornada de paz para recordar a nuestros compañeros, amigos y familiares quienes han muerto, los que han cruzado, y quienes continúan cruzando. Testificamos acerca de la tragedia de muerte e inhumanidad en nuestro medio. Finalmente, caminamos como comunidad en contra de las fronteras que intentan dividirnos, comprometidos a luchar por la dignidad de todos.

Selfishness does not bring about change.

I'm not sure when I wrote this, maybe a couple weeks ago. I wrote it on a piece of mail when I just had to get it out of my head.

Sometimes I find myself feeling so ungrateful, so selfish. Feeling like so many other people get everything while I had to fend for myself, getting so mad at God for leaving me out. Then I just have to slap myself in the face and say WAKE UP, ELAYNA, WAKE UP! You have no idea what real suffering is. Be so grateful that God has not given you so much, that he has shown you some of the evil of this world. You understand the hate and greed and envy of others. You have felt it, but He has also showed you wisdom. The empathy that goes with understanding the sadness of others.

More and more I see why God chose the path he did for me. I would not feel the pain of others, the compassion I have in my heart, if it were not for the pain I felt growing up through the years. More things come together each day, but I still tend to forget some of His greatest lessons, that of humility and love. Love is never ungrateful.

I am one of the most independent people I know. Would I still be the person I am today if I had been spoonfed everything? Maybe a bit because I tend to rebel against the people who try to control me. I don't know. I'm just happy that God maybe about to use me. I figured out a little while ago that God doesn't need me or anyone else; He's God! But, He can chose to use me for his good works, and I hope that he does because He is my hope in this world that can be so unforgiving.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Today

Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on so many things, like I want to go on an adventure. I keep forgetting that I just packed my bags and moved across that country 3 months ago, but I‘m antsy already. I have this need to explore the world. I’m worried that I won’t get the chance to. It’s like I can never be happy with what I have, like I think that there is always something better and that my life is lacking sustenance. I keep getting closer to the border, but not for very long. I don’t know if that means something. I was on the bus a lot today and I was so tired by the end of the day. I think I learned something today about being an adult. I’ve been trying to tell myself to suck it up for awhile now and I think that today I did just that. I decided to be joyful, and it was hard, but it was so much better than being crabby today. I did a presentation on budgeting and identity theft in Spanish today by myself because I had to fill in for one of the other VISTAs and I think that I did a great job.
 On the bus on the way home I was looking around and I did feel like I fit in with everyone else who has to ride the bus and lives in low-income housing (where I gave the presentation). It’s too bad that I don’t feel the same way at work. At work I feel like I’m the only one who struggles, everyone else seems to be so worried with impressing their boss. It’s like a game; who can make up the most BS? Me, I can!!! Oh, Pick me!! I’m living between two different worlds, but maybe that’s the point, maybe that’s suppose to help me understand both sides of the story. I don’t know. Maybe this is the beginning of wisdom, understanding, and then action. How do I act on this? Where do I start? How do we break down these walls?

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Writing instead of blurting...

I feel like graduation was so long ago. the process is never ending, graduating and then starting school all over again. Now that you've graduated, what are you going to do next? Grad school? The real world. I have just started working in the real world and already it feels like I have been here forever. I don't really like this real world. I want to go back to fake world. let's wonder around the country in a van that breaks down all the time. Where is the adventure. People want to settle down and buy a house and raise a family. WHY?

What is so good about being stuck in some town for 15-30 years paying off this mortgage with a bunch of screaming kids that say they hate you? You come home from work, sit, eat, maybe read or watch tv for a few hours and get up and do it again. What is so great about that life? Yes, maybee you have a nice car and a great house, but for what? What is so exciting about it?

Maybe I just have a different set up than most people. I need to travel; I need to experience. Being stuck in the house for long periods on end drives me crazy. It's like I need to get out; I need to feel something; I need to feel like I'm living and not trapped in subtle suburbia. Maybe it's the routine; routine is boring. I think in the end it's just security, it makes people feel safe.

I don't want to be safe. We only get 1 life, Let's use it!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

April Thoughts...Part dos

Random thought *I think it's funny that the types of cars I had growing up aren't even close to safe to most people. So many high schoolers these days have such a cushy life.

Random thought #2 *Sometimes I think that professionalism is funny. It seems like your acting, playing a part to fit in. The effective workers do something, everyone else seems to pretend to do something.

Another day:
I don't think that I'm helping enough. My job title is Volunteers In Service To America and I still think that I'm not making a big enough impact. I'm trying to find more ways to volunteer in my community, but the places that I'm used to aren't working out here. I need to ask around, but not that many people around me volunteer. I forget that my whole 8-5 job is helping the community; just because I'm not getting my hands dirty doesn't mean that my work isn't making a difference. In fact I'm learning that the most significant amount of change tends to come from working on the inside. :)

April Thoughts...

So throughout the month I have been writing down different thoughts that come to me while I'm sitting at my desk starring at my computer screen. Not sure which ones came first. :)

1.I'm not always thinking about how my words are effecting other people, or even how it makes them think. I comment about $, not having a lot, or something that insinuates the lack there of and then I'm not ready for the response. Stopping to consider the outcomes of my words before I say them would be better than what I am doing at that moment. I am just end up babbling because I just want to talk. I don't seem to care what I say or how it effects another person's thoughts.

It is so hard for me to just be patient. I don't understand why I think that I am so important and that what I have to say can't wait another minute to hear another person's thoughts. I feel so selfish lately. I came here to be love; to practice humility. I feel like I am failing at it. If I learn nothing else, I need to understand that humility is the highest degree of wisdom. I was reading in "The future of Peace" today and i read something very powerful. "If your mind doesn't stay with your body in the present, all sorts fo evil things--all sorts of distractions--will come flowing in to overwhelm it, making it fall away from its inner worth..."

I too often find myself making up my own stories in my head trying to make sense of everything or imagine scenarios of how things will go in the future. A lot of times that alone makes up my mood. If I just concentrated on living in the present, I would be a lot happier.

"If a man knows not what harbor he seeks, any wind is the right wind." -Seneca

Monday, April 18, 2011

Travel...it's gonna happen

I'm making a plan, a decision, a goal right now to do what I've always wanted to do...I'm going to travel. I want to spent a whole summer, that's 4 months (yes, a college summer), traveling through South America. I am going to start saving my money now and for the next 24 months, that's two years, and have enough money to spend a whole summer traveling.

I want so badly to see the world. I see people hiking through the jungle on the travel channel or friends climbing up mountains in the Andes and I just shake with excitement. I want to go out...I want to sleep in the rainforest and get down poured on...I want to see el Tierra del Fuego and learn to tango in Argentina. I see so many of my traveling friends experiencing all these exciting things and I want it too. If anyone wants to join me on this quest...let it be known...

2013 here I come!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

To the Ladies...

I wrote this post earlier this week. Probably March 22nd.

I miss you guys. You know who you are. You are the people in my life that believe in loving on every single person.

Sometimes I think that we care in a way that others think is impossible. I feel like I could be caught up in thinking that thinks are impossible too if I let myself get carried away in some of the nonsense of this world. I know in part that I already do. I love shopping and going to the mall, and off course shoes. But as soon as I start spending my days thinking about volunteering instead, all of that goes away. Jesus takes over.

People need Jesus, without him I get those looks of I work really hard for what I have, but it's just given to someone else. I can't deny that I don't have some of those same feelings towards people that are given things by birthright, but that's not okay either. It will not make the world better; it only causes more judgment.

The more people I meet, I find out who they are, the more I need to reevaluate my own prejudices and give them up to Jesus, our hope. I recently read something that the Dalai Lama said in a book by Scott Hunt, "The Future of Peace". In it the Dalai Lama explained to the Hunt that,

"Since you and I are both Buddhists, to us Buddhism is best. Buddhism is the only religion, the only truth we follow. But now, on a human level, on the level of community and society, there cannot be a concept of only one religion or only one truth. There are many religions, and many religions are providing benefits to many different people. So, therefore, in a community we must say that there are many truths. There is pluralism. That, I feel, is the only proper way to work out the differences and confrontations between different believers. Several religions, several truths on the community level; one religion, one truth on the individual level. I admit that to me, Buddhism is the only religion. But that is merely to me. Because Buddhism is the most effective religion to me, I can't think about following the idea of a Creator. It is difficult for me to conceive of this. But to another member of the community, such as a Christian practitioner, to him or to her, Christianity is the most effective belief. Therefore, to Christians, Christianity is the only religion, the only truth. So, if you put one Buddhist and one Christian together, you have a pluralism of beliefs. That is the reality of the situation.

I think that when we talk about religion, about faith, that is primarily an individual's business. That's my felling. But each of us must recognize that all other religions have the potential--whether it is the same potential or not-- to provide satisfaction or inner peace or tranquility to humanity. To me, I have full conviction that Christianity and Islam and Hinduism--in fact all the great religions--have equal power to provide inner peace and define the purpose of life. Today millions of people can benefit from these religions. And they can in the future as well. So, there are plenty of reasons to recognize the potential of all religions to help humanity. Therefore, I feel there is a real possibility to create harmony among the religious traditions."

He goes on to mention five ways to improve harmony. He believes that all religious leaders should come together and visit each others holy cities and see the good human qualities in each of them. He went to Jerusalem and Lourdes in France and other Holy places to see people getting inspired of these great traditions. He believes that religious leaders should "come together to talk peacefully in front of the eyes of millions of people."

He goes on, "I think that is a very strong signal to the follows of the religious traditions who might be fighting somewhere. Exchanging bright words, in some cases perhaps very sincere prayers, I think that would be very good."

"The fifth is a point which has been suggested by the Archbishop Tutu. We need to exchange in volunteer work, in cooperative work involving the different traditions. That also gives us an opportunity to forget about our own tradition and work together as brothers and sisters. I think that is an excellent idea.

Hunt replied that, "[it] would go a long way to end religious fighting. But I think that the trouble in establishing peace is not with the true believers who have a strong conviction that they should do right, but rather with those who don't sincerely believe in the teachings of their own faith about peace." 

The Dalai Lama then point out two important things. That in order to reduce fundamentalist thinking the follower of the religion tradition should truly implement peace in his or her daily life and that we must recognize out interdependence upon each other.

SO, I was thinking that by learning about other religions and knowing the values in others we can really see how to use those values to bring about peace and compassion. I truly believe that each one of us has the power to change the world. It is foolish to not believe it to be true. After all,

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."-Margaret Mead

I little reflecting goes a long way...

So because I don't have internet regularly I have been writing my thoughts down at work when I think of them. I think that this one is from March 16th.

I was in such a different place a year ago today. I had just gotten back from Costa Rica and had a new mind set & a new group of friends. I was happy, really truly happy. Life was good. It seemed like it had been so long since I felt that way, like I could relax again. Alas, the summer changed things around, shed some truth on where my life was going and sent me off on another adventure. It was really tough being so far away, especially when my mind wasn't focused on God. I had left so many things behind back home that I felt alone and helpless with the task at hand.

I pushed myself so hard during those six weeks to just be humble and take whatever came my way with a smile. It was so difficult, but I learned that a little perseverance goes a long way.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and unlike last year, I'm going to bed early because somehow I became an adult and I have to go to work in the morning. :)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Thoughts Along the Way...

So I wrote this earlier this last week when I was learning a bit more the community and the financial literacy class that I will be helping to teach...


I think that all along we have been taught the wrong way to go about our finances. Maybe part of thee differences between low, mid, and high income earning families is dependent mostly on education.


We are taught to go out and get a job, but our budget doesn't come into the picture in obtaining that job. We don't plan our lives out per say with the things that we want in mind in relation to our budget. If we decide to go get a 4yr, degree we may think about how we will pay for it afterward, but do we add up the vacations we want to take? Or the places that we want to see over time? Or the medical bill possibilities?


A lot of families are stuck on immediate needs, phone bill, rent for this month, food, car payment, etc. What about 5 or 10 yrs from now? Are we really planning for the future? In reality, the more we invest and plan for it now, the more we will be able to do in the future.The more financial education a family has, the greater their ability to acheive success and move up on the socioeconomic totem pole.


Investment planning needs to start early. I think that many of the simple things that bank and credit union employees know is oblivious to the general public. Yes, people need to educate themselves on their rights and available options, but I think that they also need to be taught that those things exist. People are coming out of their high schools not being equipped with the information they need to be financially stabile and the evidence is shown in the communities in which we reside. This is not acceptable.


We truly need to address these issues and give a hand up to our community members. I remember having to balance a checkbook and some small budgeting from high school, but none of that stayed with me. I had to figure it out on my own. How many students, or parents for that matter, from these low-income communities are being taught that these things are important, moreover crucial to their financial well-being? What makes them want to be financially literate?


There has to be more than part of a semester of learning about financial responsibilities for the younger generation; some thing that youth and adults will enjoy and will engage them. The financial literacy classes will hopefully get parents and kids excited about their financial futures and help them to really look at some of the areas where money could be saved or spend in a different manner. Hopefully people will be thinking things like: How much money do we need to earn to make this or that happen? Do we need to just open our closets to see our spending habits? How do we start budget for life events in order to make them happen and not spend too much money?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Today is one week in El Paso...

I finally found a place to rent Monday night. I moved in on Tuesday. I am renting a room with a husband and wife. They are very nice and allow me access to anything that I want in the house. It is kind of a neat place. They have an atrium in the middle of the house with like a cement cobblestone floor and some really big pretty plants. There are also two very large black dogs named Astro and Bella, which are very friendly and lovable. The only problem is that there is not internet in the house, but hopefully they will get it soon. All in all it is a good choice and not that far from First Light FCU, where I will be working.

I took the bus for the first time yesterday from downtown; it took about an hour and a half to get home, but I was able to see more of the city and get aquainted with more of the streets and local stores. My knowledge of the city is growing everyday, which is fantastic. I may even be able to give someone directions in the future...lol. :)

I have been learning a lot everyday about financial education and taxes jargon. I even got my books today so that I can begin studying up to get tax certified this year and help out with the VITA program. I am very exciteed for the weekend and to relax and get in some very much needed sleep.  :)

Last weekend I visited Mesilla and ate at La Posta, a very good mexican restaurant. Fun Fact: Mesilla is know for putting on the trial of the gunslinger Billy the Kid. There are gifts shops for souvenirs. I am wanting to go explore White Sands and Roswell.

Friday, February 25, 2011

It's already started

Today was difficult. The apartment that I was going to rent fell through; the landlord ended up renting it out to another person. I was just shocked at first that I really didn't have an apartment lined up anymore and I stopped to take a few breaths and tell myself that it was okay and that I would find something else because I just realized that I'm in El Paso with about 150lbs. of luggage with no apartment to put it in and no vehicle to get me there. I'm staying with my VISTA supervisor temporarily...which I am very grateful for, she is very nice, and so is her husband. I don't know what I would do without them. I just feel stuck living out of my suitcases.


I think that I forgot to plan my brain for all of the what ifs that could happen moving out here....I have just had so many things, even little, planned in my head for my own relaxation and unwinding so I could start living in the city here. I know that I have only been here one full day, but I havem't had that moment where I look outside and take that deep breath and say, "This is Home". I feel as if I can't in the current situation, and I know that that is part of my challenge, but I feel like it's more of a vacation than a reality. I tell myself, and others I'm sure, that I'm so good at rolling with the punches and being able to adapt well in stressful situations, but today I, well in retrospect, maybe I did a good job....I didn't complain or get that frustrated. I took a small breath and told myself that it was going to be okay and that God had my back.


I learned that some of the other VISTAs from last year stayed with my supervisor and her husband, Brittany and Ricardo, as well. Some for even two weeks. I just keep remembering that I cut out that quote to put on my new bedroom wall, "Is this not the worship I have chosen...to loose the chains of injustice and to free those who are oppressed?" Yet it may have to stay in the baggy inside my checked luggage for a little while longer. :( Maybe that is God's point, patience, humility, wisdom, understanding. The road will be narrow, and only a few find it...

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Beginning...

Today I flew into Albuquerque, NM. I've never been here before, it's kind of exciting. I met a ton of exciting people that are committed to serving. Hearing different stories of why/how they decided to get involved with Americorp reminds me that everyone here has a talent that they are bringing to those communities. At the welcoming thing today we had to meet three different people and answer three different questions, one each, as we stepped from person to person.

1)Why we joined/became interested in Vista?
2)Name a strength that we have.
3)What kind of legacy are we wanting to leave behind after a year of service?

The last question was hardest to answer. It really made me think about what I want to accomplish in the next year. I thought about being about to reach out to the community and that being too broad. Then I thought that maybe I can bring a new perspecive as someone that is not from the area nor has the same cultural background. I think that sometimes it's hard for a community to see outsiders wanting to help and get involved. I don't know, but I think that the question was good to start thinking about now.

I'm also excited about having a roommate for the next three days. She is from Louisiana and I think that I will learn a lot from her.

Tomorrow is the first full day of orientation. Tonight I should sleep very well after all the traveling, plus the bed looks amazing!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Peace Out Michigan >m

Tonight is my last in Michigan. I'm getting on a plane tomorrow and flying to Albuquerque for training. I'm pretty excited, and I have never been to NM before, which is an added perk. I'm kind of 50/50 with what to expect. There will be so many new and exciting faces and I can't wait to make new friends (maybe that sounds childlike, but it's the truth).

I have packed my bags within the last two days and said a lot of good-byes. I'm so stoked to be on another adventure. This year is going to be a challenge for my patience and humility. I know that I just need to remember that I'm not doing this for me, it's not about me, and I can't make it about me. I recently cut myself out a verse to put on my new bedroom wall to remind me of who I'm serving. "Is this not the worship I have chosen...to loose the chains of injustice and to free those who are oppressed?" It's from Isaiah 58:5 I think, but I like it because I found it in a book I was reading that was lent to me. The book was about being a new neighbor and really being involved in the community. It was about the organization Mission Year. What I like most is that the word they use for fasting, as it is in my bible, is worship here. It reminds me that being involved in the community and fighting for what's right is a form of worship. It's living out the Good News.

So, T-Minus about 12 hours and I'm on my way. Yippee!